Teen Peer Pressure

Teen Peer Pressure - The Parenting Relationship and Troubled Teens

Although parents may feel powerless as peer influence seems to overcome their troubled teens, there are things that can be done. Recognizing that part of what is happening to your child is actually normal, and is part of what he needs to experience in a journey toward adulthood is important. Still, parents should not sit back and watch a once-healthy child digress into self-destruction merely because he needs to "toughen up."

When a misled teen avoids you it doesn't mean you should avoid him. He's your child. Parents are just like any other human being: they feel the uneasy drive to "pull back" when someone doesn't appear to want them around. But when misled teens push away, there are often at least two reasons for it: 1) They are trying to avoid being discovered because, 2) Their own values are telling them their behaviors are wrong, and that they are falling to negative peer pressure.

And THIS is your opportunity. Don't attack ... Ask sincere questions. Talk ... Talk about the past. Talk about the future. Talk about what you think about your child. Tell him how you feel about him. It's still okay in today's world to tell a teen you're proud just to have him as your child. And ASK your teen how he is doing. Talk about friendships. Ask about relationships. If your teen hesitates, kindly ask what's wrong. Help your teen come to terms with HIS OWN VALUES. You might discover that those values are remarkably close to your own.

The strength of the troubled teen can be utilized to bring about solutions, and to combat peer pressure. The challenge of maturity and strength, in lieu of punishment, is often a far more effective motivator. Such challenges can help the troubled teen realize that his own well-being is of greater concern than the well-being of a negative group or peer. The impact of negative peer pressure is diminished, and the strength of the teen begins to emerge, displacing weak or immature behavior.

Unless a teen is a danger to himself, to others, or to property, we strongly suggest avoiding residential treatment until attempts at local intervention take place. Work with a licensed therapist. Consult with school officials and counselors. Speak with your teen when there is no crisis or conflict. Seek solutions.

Be Strong. Get Help. If you're having difficulty helping your teen cope with peer pressure, it's actually an act of strength to seek help. Marriage and Family Therapists, for instance, are often very skilled at helping a family "come together" over the very things that might otherwise tear it apart. If necessary, swallow your pride and save your child. It's the strongest, most caring thing you can do.

Problems with Teen Peer Pressure ARE things that can be overcome, and which can lead to greater strength of character.

Problems with Teen Peer Pressure ARE NOT defiance of you. They are not an illness. They are not a sign that all the good you have done has now been lost.

Problems with Teen Peer Pressure ARE an opportunity for you to become closer to your teen than you may have ever become otherwise. You can solidify your presence in his life forever, as a loving, interested authority figure by dealing with peer pressure wisely. Crisis is opportunity. Take advantage of it. You're not just saving your child. You're helping him to discover himself, with you at his side. You're building the foundations of a lifetime relationship that will never fail.

You have made the right choice in seeking help. The next step is to take action. We have vast experience with troubled teens. We have worked with them. We have cared for them. We understand teen peer pressure. We have seen what works ...... and we know what doesn't.